Unrequited Love?
by Azn-Rinny
Summary: Len has a tragic heart discrepancy but that doesn't stop him from running in the track field. Rin is the outgoing, spunky girl who might as well be a running Goddess. Len's tragic condition is a secret to everyone and he covers it up with an immature attitude. Especially with Rin. He feels his thoughts of Rin are unrequited. Will it be too late by the time the feelings are mutual?
1. Chapter One: Secrets

**Hey thur guys! Rinny here with another upload in compensation of not being active for like... a week! It seems that even though it is Summer Vacation, I am still busy as FACK. It's ridonkulous.**

**Anywho! This story is kind of based off of my cousin's life. He's had a pretty harsh life thus far, but he's still going strong :3  
**

**RINNY LOVES HER CUZ HYUN-BIN (; 화이팅! (;  
**

**I hope you all enjoy the story! :D  
**

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**Len POV**

My life... is surrounded by either black or white... there is no color. So bland... Why is it that... no matter what, I always end up in the same place... the hospital.

No, I'm not colorblind... if you're wondering.

Actually, in truth, I have a heart disease, or disorder you could call it. I've had it ever since I was a young boy.

I had my first heart attack when I was only 4 years old.

They were reoccurring heart attacks as well. And I knew exactly why they were so repetitive, and what makes it worse is... I was able to stop myself, or at least prevent them, but I chose not to...

I loved to run. The track field was my sanctuary. I felt free when I ran, even if I didn't and couldn't run the fastest, I still felt free.

Oh right. You don't even know my own name yet do you? Well, my name is Kagamine Len. I am a sophomore in high school and surprisingly, I am still alive.

Even if I run as much as I do now, I am still alive.

However, I should say that... my love for running isn't the only reason to contribute to my actual love for running...

There is a girl by the name of Kagami Rin. She is very lively, smart, and the best runner you could ever meet... so fast that she is permitted to run in the boys groups rather than the girls, and still wins...

She is very smart, athletic, and not to mention extremely popular. While I in the other hand, could be the opposite. I was almost invisible in the classroom, and the only thing that stuck out was my childish attitude.

I am frequently absent from school due to the unfortunate fact of having to visit the doctor for my tragic heart condition. So in order to hide all this, I act very childish and immature in school. Not that I want to, but just to avoid getting pitied.

I absolutely hate people who pity me.

Anyway, speaking back about Rin... she and I don't really know each other. Well, it's unrequited anyway... I think?

I first noticed her while I was running way back in my first few days of middle school, she was also out in the track field. She was very fast, and I was way behind her.

Watching her made me want to give up and quit. Not because she was fast, but because I knew more than anybody that I could never be able to run as fast as she ever could because of my tragic discrepancy...

We did not know each other. She had only known my face and what I looked like and connected it to how I acted towards her before any track meet of ours. We haven't talked even once. But really, its alright... as long as I get to see her all pumped up and energetic, it always seems to make me feel better.

When she had overlapped me, she came to a stop and had seen the very noticeable frown on my face. She had given me an encouraging pat on my shoulder and said, "Giving up isn't manly, and you'll never get a girlfriend that way, just saying."

With that, she had started running once again...

From that day on, Kagami Rin had always been a person that was always in my mind. I'm not sure as to what the reasoning was for her presence in my mind, but she was always there...

As years went by, she and I hadn't gotten any closer, nor did she and I ever talk in any way. Except before track meets. It usually went along like this: We would be stretching and preparing for our race, I would throw a tiny pebble towards her to get her attention and taunt her in an immature way. She would get angry to the point where everyone in the whole audience and field could see her blood boil...

I didn't want to get her mad... but if she does get that fired up to beat me, then the chances of her winning the race would be a lot higher than it already is... just watching her run and succeed makes me happy for some odd reason...

...What's that? Does anyone know about my heart disorder?

No. Nobody, other than my parents know about my heart problems. Of course other individuals such as the nurses and a couple teachers are obligated to know, but, otherwise, like I said, I refuse to tell anyone about this problem in order to avoid getting pitied. I also wanted to be treated the same as how other people my age were treated.

Sure, some people from the track field would notice that something is wrong with me, and they would try to "help" me. I hated it.

However, Rin would leave me be and say, "He can handle it himself. Leave him be."

It may sound cold-hearted to the average person, but to me, that's one of the many things I respect Kagami Rin for. She doesn't pity me, and she treats me the same as any other person that is free from any problems.

It just makes me feel normal for once...

Currently, it is 7:00 AM and I am walking in the school hallways, heading to my morning classes. I could already hear the loud rambling going on in the said classroom, and as I was getting closer to my destination, I could feel the vibrations from the sounds emitting from the classroom.

As I opened the door to the loud classroom, everyone in the room gave me a glance and then returned back to what they were doing.

Of course. They would not care for my presence, and they probably don't even know my name. Nobody in this school does.

They only knew me by my face.

How monochrome...

I took my seat and, coincidentally, it was next to Kagami Rin's. You know, since our last names were so similar.

I laid my head down on the desk of mine and tried to take a quick nap of some sort before school was to really start. Besides, I just got discharged from the hospital last night. My breathing is still ragged and I could already feel my heart beat getting faster for no apparent reason.

"Hey!" A rough voice interrogated me in a taunting and sarcastic tone of voice. "Haven't seen you around lately now have I Kagamine! What were you doing...? Skipping?"

I already knew who this person was... it was none other than Leon.

I don't know why he is so high strung over me. I remember way back when... he had hated me right at the spot. He had accused me for stealing his "girlfriend." His so called, "girlfriend" being Kagami Rin.

For one, he and Rin are most definitely not going out. Another thing, why is he so high strung over a relationship that'll never happen?

I'm a sickly human being that'll never see the good in the world... but she's the exact opposite. There is no way anything could happen between us. Just no way...

"It's none of your business." I replied nonchalantly to his question that was intentionally said in a rude manner.

Leon gave an annoyed expression and his friends all gather around my desk, breathing my air and intruding my personal space bubble.

I have breathing problems as is, they're just making this so much harder.

"Acting all calm, cool, and collected now are you?" Leon interrogated me. "What are you trying to hide?"

I clenched a fist and said while slightly grinding my teeth, "I said it was none of your business didn't I? So please, be a productive member of our society, and leave me alone."

I could feel a bit of sweat trickle down from my forehead and my breathing gradually turning into panting. Great. I thought getting discharged from the hospital was supposed to make this problem less likely to happen... but it starts again after I get out of the hospital just last night... Will there ever be a time of ease for me?

"Hey Leo. Get off my seat." Said a blunt and familiar voice.

Leon and his little posse, moved to the side as they saw an irritated Kagami Rin, with her arms crossed and glaring at each individual.

"It's Leon..." Leon stated with slight disappointment, however changed his disappointed expression into a flirtatious one, "I was just keeping your seat warm for you."

Rin rolled her eyes and shoved Leon out of her seat while saying, "Leo, Leon, same difference. Now get out. Your presence annoys me."

Oho. That was actually really enjoyable for me to watch.

Leon just gave a wink while saying, "Playing hard to get eh? I'll one day get you to love me Kagami Rin! Just you wait!" And left.

Rin gave another roll of her eyes as she set her backpack down on the side of her desk. I could feel my breathing rate returning back to it's normal pace and I sighed of relief when I realized it.

"So... how's your morning uh..." Rin said as she fixed her white bow while facing me.

Whoa. She's actually trying to start a conversation with me. Usually, she would just stick out her tongue or blow a raspberry at me because of all the immature things I do before any track meet. But today seemed to be different... I'm not sure if that's considered a good thing or not...

"Kagamine. Kagamine Len. My morning has been alright I guess. Yours?" I asked as I faced her as well and raked my bangs back slightly.

Rin gave a shrug and replied, "Eh. It's been alright. Just the usual."

I gave a nod, and we both just sat there awkwardly.

"So... how's your running been? I'm sure you're running in prep for that big meet this Friday." I said with a quick rub of my neck.

Rin gave a confident look and said, "Why of course! What are you going to do then? Tell me I'm gonna lose when I'm not?"

I just smirked and replied, "Well, who knows what I'll do."

Rin just gave me her traditional smirk, and flipped her hair back. "Wow. You are still the same childish guy aren't you?"

"Well yeah. I don't change just because I'm in a classroom rather than a track field." I said with an eyebrow raised.

Rin gave a little chuckle and I just smiled. Wow. We're actually talking. This is the first time we've even started to talk.

Wait... Why?

"Hey." I said as Rin stopped laughing, "No offense, but why are you talking to me?"

Rin tapped her finger on her chin, "Ah, that. Um. Well, I..."

I raised an eyebrow as I awaited for her answer.

"Well, the thing is, I thought you were acting all childish and immature with me because of the ruckus that happens everyday in your seat! Like today with Leo or whatever his name is." Rin said with a nervous laugh.

"So you were hoping that I would stop?" I asked as I twirled my pencil around.

"Nope!" Rin said with another laugh.

I gave her a confused look in response. What?

The bell had rang and Rin had turned herself around to face forward, "You wouldn't be you if didn't act like that right?"

This is confusing me... but whatever. It wouldn't change my opinion about Rin anyway. "Well in that case, you're going to lose Kagami."

Rin sneered and whispered back, "In your dreams... Kagamine."

Well what do you know. She remembered my name... it might not seem like it brightened my day, but surely, that was the greatest day I've had in a while.

. . .

The final and last bell of the day had rung. It finally meant that I could go home for the day. Not that home was any better than school but whatever.

There's even track practice today, but I can't go. A doctor is probably waiting for me at home to check up on me... so my parents say anyway.

"Yo Kagamine!"

I turned around and saw Rin in her track sweatsuit and her hair tied up in a tiny ponytail and her bangs clipped back like always.

I lifted my shoulder backpack and raised my right arm, "Oh hi."

"Aren't you going to practice out on the track field today? You do know we have practice." Rin said with narrow eyes and a scolding expression.

Of course, basically being the track manager as well as being best runner, she's responsible for all this shiznitch.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and said, "I can't today. I've got some stuff to do."

Rin gave me a peculiar look and asked suspiciously, "What kind of stuff."

I rolled my eyes, "It's personal. It's a... family thing."

Rin just took in a deep breath and shook her head back and forth, "Fine. Whatever."

I stuck out my tongue before I turned around to continue walking to my house, "Hope you suck!"

Rin gave me half of a peace sign, if you know what I mean, and I could see her face boil up like it always does when I make fun of her. I gave a victory smirk and continued to walk over to my house.

When I arrived, I headed to my room to see that the doctor wasn't even here yet. My parents had informed me that he was on his way. To kill some time, I took out my drawing notebook.

Yep, that's my secret talent. I can draw. Big whoop.

The thing that is even more secretive than me drawing in the first place, is that some of these drawings were my drawings of Kagami Rin. Sometimes I would go to the park or the big tree next to our track field just to enjoy nature's scenery and draw the beauties of the outside world, because you never know when my heart will let me down...

Rin is frequently there, and without myself knowing, I drew her along with nature.

As I browsed through some of the drawings, I could feel my lips twitch upwards.

Kagami Rin...

Hm. Interesting.

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**How was it guuuuys~? (; **

**I hope you all liked it, and please READ AND REVIEW! :D  
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	2. Chapter Two: Always Unrequited

**Rinny here! (:**

**5 more days...  
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**5 MORE FACKING DAYS UNTIL THE END OF SUMMER...  
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**I'm going to die guys... Junior year is going to be tough... I need to study hard to be in the top 5 students again this year!  
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**Although studies are going to kill me, I will not neglect my stories! I have my phone to update, so in my random moments of free time, I'll definitely use that time to update, no worries!  
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**Trust Rinny ne~ ;D  
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**Hopefully you all do anyway...  
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**So, anyway~  
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**Enjoy the chapter guys~**

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**In the previous chapter...**

"Yo Kagamine!"

I turned around and saw Rin in her track sweatsuit and her hair tied up in a tiny ponytail and her bangs clipped back like always.

I lifted my shoulder backpack and raised my right arm, "Oh hi."

"Aren't you going to practice out on the track field today? You do know we have practice." Rin said with narrow eyes and a scolding expression.

Of course, basically being the track manager as well as being best runner, she's responsible for all this shiznitch.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and said, "I can't today. I've got some stuff to do."

Rin gave me a peculiar look and asked suspiciously, "What kind of stuff."

I rolled my eyes, "It's personal. It's a... family thing."

Rin just took in a deep breath and shook her head back and forth, "Fine. Whatever."

I stuck out my tongue before I turned around to continue walking to my house, "Hope you suck!"

Rin gave me half of a peace sign, if you know what I mean, and I could see her face boil up like it always does when I make fun of her. I gave a victory smirk and continued to walk over to my house.

When I arrived, I headed to my room to see that the doctor wasn't even here yet. My parents had informed me that he was on his way. To kill some time, I took out my drawing notebook.

Yep, that's my secret talent. I can draw. Big whoop.

The thing that is even more secretive than me drawing in the first place, is that some of these drawings were my drawings of Kagami Rin. Sometimes I would go to the park or the big tree next to our track field just to enjoy nature's scenery and draw the beauties of the outside world, because you never know when my heart will let me down...

Rin is frequently there, and without myself knowing, I drew her along with nature.

As I browsed through some of the drawings, I could feel my lips twitch upwards.

Kagami Rin...

Hm. Interesting.

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**Len POV**

"It seems you'll be just fine, Kagamine-kun!" The nurse explained in a giddy manner, "For now anyway."

I sighed as she exclaimed the readings off of her clipboard. "The doctor just says to take it easy with your extracurricular sport..."

I rolled my eyes as she kept going on and on, nagging about how I should just quit track all together.

I'm not going to do that.

Isn't life supposed to be lived to the fullest? It shouldn't matter how long you live your life. That was never an important factor to me.

Even if it hurts, then I'll just have to live with it.

I just want to live life like a normal guy.

Not some sick and weak human being that might die any moment now.

My heart is unpredictable.

"Whatever." I replied nonchalantly to nurse that I could care less about. As if I was actually going to take her words seriously.

The nurse knew just as well as I did that I didn't care about what she was nagging on about. I really didn't.

She sighed and exited my room, probably to go discuss my condition with my parents.

I'm such a stubborn and stupid guy. I wish I cared more about myself.

But I don't.

I feel imprisoned in my own room. I feel like going out to the park or something and just draw.

That's the only thing I can do to make myself at least feel like nothing is wrong with me.

I changed my clothes from my school uniform into something you'd see me wear more often if it weren't to school. Like skinny jeans and a button up shirt, with another white shirt underneath.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My pale skin disgusted me. What disgusted me more was that stupid scar on my chest.

I remember I was crying that night after my surgery. I was only 10. Can't really judge me for crying then... but, I was honestly scared to die.

I would say different now, but I was too innocent and didn't even predict that death could be something that would be my early fate.

I scowled at the ugly mark and pulled my shirt up so that any sight of it was hidden. It's embarrassing.

Whatever.

I walked away from the mirror and grabbed my sketchbook and headed for the door of my room. However, about a centimeter from touching the doorknob, I heard my mother's conversation with the doctor.

"What did you want to talk to me about, Doctor?" I heard the frail and weak voice of my mother ask. She is always worrying too much...

I heard a sigh from the doctor as he inquired, "Although Len's condition is stable as of right now, we can't guarantee it'll stay that way, even if he quits track."

"Wh-What do you mean?" My mother questioned as her reply.

I felt my hand twitch reaching for the doorknob.

Stop...

"Just for him to feel everyday emotions like being nervous, or stressed. It could be imperitive for him." The doctor explained.

Just stop...

"The worst case scenario is if he had someone he liked..."

At that moment, I felt myself slam the door open to reveal two very shocked individuals.

"You know I hate this..." I said while grinding my teeth and avoiding eye contact with the two by keeping my eyes glued to the floor.

Everyday. They'd always talk about me like this. Through the phone, face to face, appointments, or whatever.

I know they care... but can't they just leave me alone?

"Whether I die or not, it's going to be my intention. I'm going to do what I want, whenever I want. Just leave me be damn it." I muttered, however loud enough for both individuals to hear me.

I may sound cold hearted, harsh, or basically, an ass to you. Even to me. However, I just can't stand when they start talking about me like this.

It just reminds me I'm weak.

Not only will it bother me, but it's futile. I'm going to do what I want to. I'm not going to pull myself back from things that other people can do and enjoy just because my heart doesn't function like theirs.

It's not fair.

I stomped down the hallway from my room to the living room.

"Len!" My mother called out, "Where on Earth do you think you're going! The sun's about to set!"

"Why should you care. I always come back in one piece anyway." I responded back. "Stop worrying. I'm not weak."

The front door was in my view now, and I reached to grasp the knob so I can leave this prison. Even though this place is my home,

I hate it here.

I continued to jog over to my regular visit to the park. The isolated forest environment that was behind the playground and whatnot.

My other sanctuary besides the track field.

I don't care whether I run or not. Despite the consequences afterwards, I don't care. I just want to get out...

Ever since my surgery, I became more isolated with my family. I became the cold hearted and worthless guy I am now.

Back then, the reason was because I was scared that I might have to have surgery again. I was scared that I might have another heart attack. I was scared of pain.

I was scared to die.

Now, I've gotten used to it. I'm almost anticipating my final breath. It's getting harder to live like this everyday... I hate upsetting and worrying my parents. I hate my weak condition.

I hate my unrequited relationships.

My parents, peers, teachers, the doctors, importantly, Rin Kagami. Even the track field and my drawing capabilities.

My feelings would never reach the other.

I slowed down my pace seeing I had arrived and took in a painful breath.

It hurt...

I pounded my chest until I was satisfied.

People at school and home see me as a introverted, harsh and childish human being...

But they'd never know or find out about my other self that I keep to myself.

I felt sweat trickle from my forehead. I've got to get it together...

I was slightly dizzy, and with each small step I took towards my usual spot at the park, I would give an occasional wince or sigh at the random moments of pain that I would receive.

This is just tiring.

These are times when I just want to quit.

I hate myself so much...

When I saw the tree that I usually sit under, I almost collapsed down and leaned my head back on the bark. It felt relaxing...

It took a while for me to regain my normal composure. About 20 minutes... but nonetheless, I was back to normal.

Back in middle school, up until my early sophomore days, (being about maybe a couple months ago), I was able to run a certain amount and still feel okay. That's how I was able to attend track meets with little problem.

Lately, I feel worse. Seeing how I just got out of the hospital a a couple days ago because of a track meet, I don't think my body can take even short distances anymore.

As if I care though.

I refuse to be considered handicapped because of this. I can handle things just fine.

I got this far didn't I?

I sighed, and opened my Sketchbook to the next blank page and took out a pencil from my pocket. Instead of the forest scenery, I thought about drawing something around the playground area.

Turning around, I focused my vision and saw a little girl with with black hair put into little pigtails and a red school dress, pushing her probable, little brother on the swings. Watching them were two girls who were giggling at them.

They were both laughing energetically and teasing each other at the same time. I felt my lips twitch upwards as I saw the cute act.

I wish I was like them...

That's all I really yearned for when I was their age...

I sighed once more, but gave myself a reassuring and yet slightly melancholic smile. I proceeded to draw the lovable siblings.

I flinched slightly as I was drawing. I started reminiscing my own childhood. I was a depressing child. Isolating myself from everyone. Crying myself to sleep, fearing what would come for me the next day.

It was the worst.

My eyes widened as I realized what preposterous things I was thinking about.

Why am I so stupid?

Aw well, going back to my drawing of the two rambunctious children, the sketch didn't take too long, maybe about 5 minutes.

It took a lot longer than usual to sketch this time around. Usually it would take me about 2-3 minutes.

I guess I was too distracted...

I've got to forget about that...

Okay, as I started darkening and shading the sketch, I thought I was going to die after what just happened right now...

"BOO!"

I dropped the sketchbook and my pencil as I grasped my chest in reflex.

That hurt...

I might as well be dead...

As I tried to calm my breathing, I heard giggling in the background.

That was not funny... how cocky...

I turned around and saw the last person that I would expect here... Rin Kagami. What was she doing here?

Now I'm more upset...

She looked the same as when I last saw her. Track suit and hair tied. When she finished laughing, she sat up, gave a cheeky grin and gave me a peace sign while exclaiming, "Yo! Kagamine!"

I gave her a scowl and exasperated a tiresome sigh, "Oh... hi Kagami. What are you doing here?"

Rin crossed her legs and gave me a pondering look, "Well, my friend Wandu's parents owns a daycare. So I'm out with her to help with the kids she is taking to visit the park."

Oh. So those two girls I saw watching the two kids were precisely her and this Wandu person.

What an odd name. Perhaps she was foreign?

"Anyway. What about you Kagamine? What brings you here? I would have thought you'd be doing some 'personal' or 'family' stuff since you weren't at practice..." Rin said with a glare towards the end.

I sighed and picked up my sketchbook and pencil from getting startled. "Just needed to get out. That's all."

Rin scowled herself and hugged her knees, "What's up your butt? You don't look too good."

"Not your problem, so don't worry about it." I replied more nonchalantly than I had planned while continuing to draw.

"What, you don't trust me or something?" Rin asked me with impatience.

Trust?

Why even mention such a pointless thing?

As if I have any left for anybody.

I stopped drawing and turned my head to look at her with narrow eyes, "Do you have the right to say that?"

She looked at me in a shocked manner, "What?"

I took in a deep breath, "Never mind..."

Was I too harsh?

I didn't mean to sound that way...

Rin sat uneasily and after an awkward moment of silence, she then suddenly said, "...I see. So you don't know what trust is do you, Kagamine?"

I stopped my finger motions from drawing again and smirked, "What makes you say that?"

Rin crawled over to where she was in front of me and raised my chin to flick me in the nose. I didn't really react to it, but I wouldn't say that it didn't bother me.

"Because you are being a stupid and arrogant dumbass." She replied nonchalantly with her signature glare.

I averted my eyes from her and looked back down at my sketchbook, "You're right. I am."

I know I am. You didn't have to tell me for me to know.

"E-Eh?" Rin replied startled.

I looked up and gave her the childish wink that she hated, "What? You think that I'd react like you do when you insult me like I insult you?"

Although what she said was true, she doesn't really know that. I could see that her face had gotten red from realization.

Gotcha.

She scrunched up her nose and punched me in the arm in a joking manner, "You suck, Kagamine!"

"I know. Not as much as you though." I said with my tongue sticking out.

Rin's face had gotten red like it always did when I acted like this with her.

I smiled and continued to draw on the sketchbook.

"I see you don't change." Rin said while fanning her red face. "And neither do I."

I chuckled at her comment, "I guess not."

"Whoa!" Rin exclaimed suddenly.

I looked at her shocked, "What?"

"That was the first sign of laughter I've ever heard from you, ever!" Rin exclaimed with big eyes.

My heart felt uneasy for a second. I didn't like this feeling... although I did.

I ignored her comment and continued drawing. I was now finishing up on my final.

What almost killed me at the spot though, was how Rin had bent over and looked at what I was doing.

"Oh my God! Kagamine! I didn't know you were so good at this! That looks just like Yuuki and Yukito!" Rin exclaimed excitedly. "You're really good!"

I felt my cheeks heat up, "...Th-Thanks... I guess..."

"Can I see other drawings that you've drawn?" Rin inquired with a smile that was unlike any I've ever seen.

I shrugged as I handed her the book, "Go ahead."

This notebook was my drawing notebook that didn't have any hidden or secret drawings of Rin. It was just the one I took to draw simple things and not so genuine drawings I guess.

She flipped to the first page and smiled and giggled at a lot of my drawings. I have never seen this side of her. Ever.

The real question is though, why now?

What makes this moment different from yesterday?

Why was she suddenly always showing up more often?

My thoughts were cut off as I heard a gasp and a distressed look, "Kagamine... what's the meaning of this drawing?"

I shook my head back and forth a little as she asked me. "Meaning of what dra-"

When I caught sight of the drawing, my own eyes widened.

I thought I threw out that drawing...

It was a drawing of a young boy, that resembled me when I was 7, hugging his knees with a psychotic expression on his face. With abstract nonsense in the background with guns and knives.

On the bottom, there was a memo that said, "What is the meaning of life? I'm going to die anyway."

I quickly took the notebook away from her, "Nothing... forget about it."

Rin gave me a semi-worried look, however I ignored it. I hated me an easy bait for sympathy and being worrisome.

"Hey, Kagamine?"

I looked at her uneasily, "What?"

She then gave me a thumbs up and said, "If you ever need a friend to go to, I'll be right here dude!"

I felt my eyes widen, and I felt as if my lips were sewn shut.

"I mean, you're too introverted! Express yourself more!" She exclaimed with a fist pump and cheeky grin. "You may piss me off, but you're still a good guy Kagamine. Remember that, kay?"

I felt my heart feel uneasier and my cheeks reddening.

"I... g-gotta go." I said quickly as I grabbed all my stuff and ran off without looking back. All I heard was her laugh.

What the Hell...

Whatever witchcraft she's using on me, it's working.

It was pity... yet it wasn't?

I'm not sure...

When I felt that I was far enough from Rin, I supported my body by leaning on the brick wall of a building and brought my hand up to my face to cover that embarrassing blush on my face.

I treat her with so much nonchalance and tease her daily. Yet, she still thinks that I'm in that category of her life?

Whatever happened to not knowing we were even in each other's lives?

Even if that's so, it would be a lie to say that I didn't like it. All that I really didn't find normal was her comment.

Maybe she shouldn't have said that...

Because even if things are like this, I know for sure that I'm only going to experience pain.

I flipped open my notebook to see that traumatic drawing while I still can with the little amount of sunlight left and frowned.

That's right...

No matter what...

My feelings will always be unrequited.

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**Well how was it guys? ;D**

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	3. Chapter Three: Newfound Hope

**Rinny is back with an update~!  
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**Sorry guys, I was going to update this last night since I had already had it done, but my internet connection was going back and forth from connected to disconnected... by the time I finished my chapter, it wouldn't let me connect to the internet because my computer is stupid D:  
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**So, I'm here the next morning to see if it works, and luckily, IT IS! :D  
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**I know a lot of people have been waiting for this update, so I'm going to let you guys start reading now~  
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**Enjoy! (:**

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**In the previous chapter...**

I shook my head back and forth a little as she asked me. "Meaning of what dra-"

When I caught sight of the drawing, my own eyes widened.

I thought I threw out that drawing...

It was a drawing of a young boy, that resembled me when I was 7, hugging his knees with a psychotic expression on his face. With abstract nonsense in the background with guns and knives.

On the bottom, there was a memo that said, "What is the meaning of life? I'm going to die anyway."

I quickly took the notebook away from her, "Nothing... forget about it."

Rin gave me a semi-worried look, however I ignored it. I hated me an easy bait for sympathy and being worrisome.

"Hey, Kagamine?"

I looked at her uneasily, "What?"

She then gave me a thumbs up and said, "If you ever need a friend to go to, I'll be right here dude!"

I felt my eyes widen, and I felt as if my lips were sewn shut.

"I mean, you're too introverted! Express yourself more!" She exclaimed with a fist pump and cheeky grin. "You may piss me off, but you're still a good guy Kagamine. Remember that, kay?"

I felt my heart feel uneasier and my cheeks reddening.

"I... g-gotta go." I said quickly as I grabbed all my stuff and ran off without looking back. All I heard was her laugh.

What the Hell...

Whatever witchcraft she's using on me, it's working.

It was pity... yet it wasn't?

I'm not sure...

When I felt that I was far enough from Rin, I supported my body by leaning on the brick wall of a building and brought my hand up to my face to cover that embarrassing blush on my face.

I treat her with so much nonchalance and tease her daily. Yet, she still thinks that I'm in that category of her life?

Whatever happened to not knowing we were even in each other's lives?

Even if that's so, it would be a lie to say that I didn't like it. All that I really didn't find normal was her comment.

Maybe she shouldn't have said that...

Because even if things are like this, I know for sure that I'm only going to experience pain.

I flipped open my notebook to see that traumatic drawing while I still can with the little amount of sunlight left and frowned.

That's right...

No matter what...

My feelings will always be unrequited.

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**Len POV**

It's been a couple days since I had last seen Rin. Well, let me rephrase that, the last time I had seen her was when we had that awkward meeting at the park. Ever since then, my heart hasn't been functioning that well.

It's quite a drag… it's not like I wanted to meet her that day, nor was it planned for me to see her… but whatever she was doing to me when we met, worked. I haven't been able to breathe the past couple days, therefore, I missed even more school than I ever thought I would this year.

I miss school enough as it is… but now, it turns out that I might be in danger of redoing my school year for not showing up.

And that's the last thing I need.

"Len? Are you going to school today?" I heard the sound of my always concerned mother inquire as I buttoned up my school uniform. "If you're not feeling well, you can miss another day."

Yep, after about 3 days, I finally decided to go to school. I'm not feeling as great as I should, but I feel a lot better than I have these past few days, so I gave that the signal that I could go to school.

"I'm going to school today. I'll be out soon." I responded back as I finished buttoning my shirt. After days of not wearing my school uniform, it felt oddly fresh wearing it again. I wonder what kind of things I would experience today…

I gave myself one last look in my mirror before I left my room. As always, I still saw myself as a sickly human being. I wish there was a day where I could see myself as a normal guy… but whenever I see myself in the mirror, that never seems to happen.

Will a day like that ever come?

Really, that's all I wish lately. It disgusts me every day to see myself in any way shape or form… I'm just always reminded of that kind of person I am, rather than the kind of person that I want to be… Can't I just experience what I want for once?

Even if I wanted to, I know I can't. Life doesn't work that way.

I sighed as I thought about this tragedy, and walked downstairs to see my mother waiting for me outside the door. She had tired eyes that were red and swollen.

She was crying again.

When she had seen me, her eyes had grown a little bigger and she had given me a weak smile as she said, "Are you feeling better today?"

I nodded at her question and grabbed my backpack that was sitting on the chair beside the dining room table. While I did so, my mother had walked up to me and asked, "Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat before you leave for school?"

"No, I'm fine." I replied quickly as I headed towards the door. "I'll be taking my leave now…"

My mother had given another smile as she gave a little wave, "Have a good day at school, Len."

I nodded at what she said, and walked out the door, shutting it behind me without turning back. If I leave, I'm sure that she'd resume crying…

She had always lived like that… I was always the reason why she would cry herself to sleep every night. I was the source of her worries… and for the most part, I hated myself for that.

There was nothing that my mother had done wrong. Yet, she must witness something like this? I cannot seem to face her everyday because of that reason. Every single day, when I look at her, it only reminds me of how worthless I am to her. That I am equivalent to a piece of rubbish that is lying on the streets…

I also wished that I could do something about this as well… not really for me, but just so my mother could once again sleep with a smile on her face.

But once again, life doesn't work that way.

I was bound to live like this by destiny. Soon, I'm sure, that I won't even be living at all. Not only in the sense of being able to be breathing… but the sense that I might have to quit school because of my health declining.

I wouldn't be able to live life like a normal teenager.

I wouldn't be able to go outside and draw.

I wouldn't be able to live my life of one sided love.

I wouldn't be able to see Rin or tease her like I had always done.

What society considered my "normal" life, would be over in a blink of an eye. Just thinking about something like that makes me crazy… More psychotic than I already am.

I shivered at these melancholic thoughts and not wanting to think about it any longer, I brushed it away. Now that I have, I then finally started to walk towards the school. On my way there, I saw all the familiar faces of the students that attend my school also walking as well.

Sometimes, walking along the same sidewalk as all these people make me feel like there's nothing wrong with me. That I'm just your average teenager walking to school like I would every morning.

Especially since every individual in our society, would see me as something like that. A normal guy going to school.

I wonder how it must feel to be able to experience that everyday? I bet it is a great. The greatest thing that one can feel. Living a life without a discrepancy that could affect whether you were still living and breathing…

What a great dream…

"Kagamine? Is that you?"

The familiar voice that I knew anywhere… it was Rin. At the sound of her voice, I turned around to see the blonde girl in her school uniform rather than her tracksuit. She had given me a wave as she jogged up to where I was.

When Rin had reached where I was, she had given me a slight shove, in a playful manner of course, as she said, "Kagamine! Where were you? You've been gone for 3 days! I thought that you were never coming back or something!"

I shrugged as I replied, "I was just sick. That's all." We both continued to walk down towards the school as we had this conversation.

Rin's eyes had widened in surprise, "Really?! For that long? Must have been bad! You're feeling a lot better now though, right?"

I glanced at her for a couple seconds before giving a nod, "That's why I'm here, duhh."

Rin rolled her eyes and then confirmed with a nod, "Oh yeah, you're feeling better alright. You're acting like the smartass you are."

I smirked at her, "Well of course. I wouldn't be me without that quality. It's the best, isn't it?"

Rin smiled as she bumped her shoulder against my arm as we walked, "True. You really wouldn't be Kagamine without that damn quality. I wouldn't say it's the best though."

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Not the best, eh? Then I'm just going to have to try hundreds time harder."

Rin narrowed her eyes at me as she replied quickly, "That's not what I meant."

I smirked again as she said those words. Before I could say anything, my heart had suddenly started to hurt with each heartbeat. I winced suddenly as I felt the pain increase.

What the hell was going on?

Why is it hurting so suddenly like this?

I was fine this morning, what is going on?

"Uhh, Kagamine? Are you alright?" Rin had asked as she leaned her head over to look at my face directly, "Are you sure that you're feeling better? You don't look so hot."

"I'm fine." I said quickly. "I'll see you in class."

I didn't wait for her reply as I quickly left towards the men's restroom. My breathing was ragged the whole way there, and I didn't think that I would be in this much pain.

When arrived to the bathroom, I headed towards the wall next to the sinks and used to walls as support. What's wrong with me?

Was I not well enough to be at school?

Yes, anytime I talked to Rin, my heart would start to hurt. However, this is the first time that it had hurt this much just by talking to her.

Could it be that my condition is getting worse as the day passes?

Already at this rate?

I then remembered the day when my mother was talking to the doctor. How I wasn't advised to feel everyday emotions and whatnot. That it could lead to very bad things…

Is this the start of what he was talking about?

Would I soon not be able to even greet Rin good morning?

Thinking about it makes me want to shoot myself in the head. What's the point of coming to school if I can't do what I want?

For the past couple years, I had been wanting to come to school, just to see Rin. Just because I was able to at least see her, I was able to continue living on with my life in a content manner… now that I just recently started talking to her, I can't help but want to keep spending time with her now that we just started to become actual friends.

I started to take advantage of these moments… I had wanted more.

It's too soon…

Can't I feel like this later on in life, when I am ready to say goodbye?

I once again looked at myself in the mirror. I was clenching my chest hard. Beads of sweat were starting to form on my forehead.

There was no difference to what I saw from this morning to right now…

I looked hopeless… weak…

I just really looked as if I didn't want to continue on with life. Not only that though… I didn't only look it… but I felt it too.

I am such a coward.

How am I supposed to live my life without feeling like one, when I do?

Can't I do something that I can be happy with? Something that'll make other people not want to be so disappointed when they see my face? People like my mom…

What can I do to make myself someone that not only others can be proud of, but also, myself. Is that so difficult? Am I not allowed to look at myself with a smile, making sure I know that I'm satisfied with how I am living since it is the best that I can be?

I took in a slow and deep breath when I felt the pain finally subside. Looks like I won't be able to do anything today as much either. Which means I would have to go home as soon as school was over, and I would have to skip track practice again.

Rin will not be happy with me when she hears that I would have to skip. She's the manager after all… at this rate, she'd probably kick me off… even though running is all I have, other than drawing of course.

I splashed water on my face before I had left the bathroom with another sigh. With that being said, I noticed a girl waiting outside of the men's restroom. The same girl that had conversed with me this morning.

What was Rin doing here?

When Rin had seen me, she quickly sighed of relief when she saw that I was walking, and well, looking alright. "Thank goodness! I was worried about you, Kagamine!"

My eyes widened slightly, "Worried? About me?"

Rin nodded, "Of course! Friends worry about each other all the time! Especially when they're sick to the extent they missed school for half of the week!"

Oh great… my heart is feeling uneasy again…

However, this time, it was different. It had hurt, but the feeling that Rin had given me because of her words had compensated for all the pain.

She had actually seen me as her friend.

"Come! Let's go to class!" Rin said with a friendly smile as she grabbed my hand and pulled me along with her to get to class.

Rin sees me as a friend despite all the things that I do or say to her… the thought of that actually brings a genuine smile to my face. No one has ever made me feel like that, ever.

I like her… I like her a lot.

At first, I had liked her for her ambition… her confidence. Everything about her was something that I had loved. She was someone that I had wanted to be…

Now, it's not just those wonderful qualities that I love her for, but the fact that she doesn't make me feel like a coward.

The feeling of always being a coward no matter what, is temporarily washed away whenever I spend time with her…

She makes me feel like a new person…

She makes me feel the confidence that I never knew I had.

Despite the pain that my heart feels, it is always compensated whenever it comes to Rin.

I will take any amount of pain just to stand here, and spend time with the girl that I truly love.

I want to beat my disease. If it means that I can be with Rin a little while longer...

Then I feel like doing my best to make that happen.

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